


Clarity

by HallowsEve



Series: Happily NEVER After: Supernatural Edition [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Internalized Homophobia, Mild Language, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Sad Ending, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-30 18:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10882188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowsEve/pseuds/HallowsEve
Summary: Dean has always had feelings for his best friend, Castiel, it’s just a shame he waited until it was too late to be brave enough to admit it. (AKA: My response to all the fics where Cas just pines hopelessly until Dean nuts up and accepts his Cas-sexual side and they ride off into the sunset.) WARNING: NOT DESTIEL ENDING! – AU: Real World





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love Destiel! I’m a total hardcore shipper and have been since that gorgeous blue-eyed dork crashed into Dean’s life. I am also, however, tired of the fics where Cas is just a spineless, hopeless, pining fool. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a happy ending, but is it really a happy ending when Cas literally just went through the motions until Dean was ready? Just patiently sat at his side for years while Dean exercised his masculinity with every willing chick? Not to me. Cas is a BAMF Angel of the Lord for crying out loud. So…he’s getting his happy ending. Head’s up, again, this isn’t ending in Destiel. Dean waited too long. Sorry, not sorry. Sometimes in life we let opportunities pass us by…
> 
> And yes, this is my first Destiel fic that I’m posting. Start off with a bang right? Not beta read and written last night in a fit of repressed rage on my phone so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Breaks indicate a jump in time. Strictly Dean POV. It's like seeing inside Dean's head.

It didn’t happen overnight.

The evolution was so slow that Dean didn’t even notice it until it was slapping him in the face. In hindsight, he should have noticed, but the thing was, Cas was his constant. He was Dean’s 0,0,0,0. No matter what happened or how bad things got, Cas was there to help Dean through with soothing words and gentle touches that Dean knew were full of a deeper kind of love.

When Cassie left Dean because she couldn’t handle the stress of his law enforcement career, Cas sat by his side while he drunk himself into a melancholy state and helped him nurse his hangover the next day. A tradition they repeated until Dean was back in the saddle.

Then came Lisa. Sweet, bendable Lisa. The woman was an absolute spitfire in personality and that most definitely translated over to the bedroom. His family had loved her. His friends had loved her. She was perfect, until 2 pink lines rocked Dean’s world. Lisa didn’t try to lie. She wasn’t one of those women who gets pregnant with some other man’s child and then tries to pass it off as her boyfriend’s. Despite the clearly way too wild Bachelorette weekend in Vegas celebrating her sister’s upcoming nuptials, Lisa was a good person and she owned her transgression. Dean had tried to forgive. They stayed together for a small while, mostly spending their time apart. Lisa focusing on developing a prenatal yoga class and Dean avoiding his feelings by spending all his free time with his best friend. It didn’t last. By the time Lisa hit four months, she was done. She knew the damage was too deep and she tearfully wished Dean well. Cas had been at his side for that too. Saying nothing as Dean cried into his umpteenth whiskey and helping him pick up the pieces.

He never judged Dean. Not even when Dean was taking home a different woman each weekend night for months after Lisa. Or when he had to help carry his drunken friend to his room. Or when he spent his late nights cleaning up Dean’s vomit. Cas was his one constant in his life and it was only now, as he was staring at his phone, that he realized just how much Cas meant to him. And not as a friend.

<<Text Received>> Have to cancel tonight. Apologies, Dean.

Unremarkable and totally innocent. Except, was it?

This was the fourth cancellation of their weekly pizza and movie night in the past three months. Fourth!

Sure, Cas had a demanding job working under the great big bag of dicks known as Zachariah Adler. It didn’t matter that he was one of the best lawyers in Kansas. He was also a grade A asshole who didn’t appreciate Cas and what he brought to the table. So it wasn’t impossible that Cas was working, but it had also been a while since his job interfered to such an extent as it presently appeared to be and when it had, he always made some smart ass comment about a case or ridiculous deadline that Adler put on him. It was the lack of information that put Dean on alert.

Dean wanted to shrug it off.

Cas had been his best friend for their whole lives. Of the 34 years Dean had been alive, 31 of them had been with Cas as his best friend. Their friendship hadn’t been without it’s hurdles. There was Cas’s incredible social ineptitude. Something that often had him on the wrong end of some jock’s anger in High School and by extension put Dean in a bad spot too.

Then Cas had come out as gay. Dean was by no means homophobic and thank hell that his family hadn’t been either seems Cas lived with them their senior year after his psycho bitch of a mother threw him out. His father, Chuck, was a good man, but far too passive with Satan’s sister Naomi to overrule her decision. Instead the unbelievably meek rich man gave money to John and Mary to cover his son’s expenses and had also secretly paid for Cas’s college and law school.

Then there was the time Cas had gotten drunk. One of the only times in his life too and it had nearly ended their friendship. Cas was like many others and became loose lipped and overly brave when intoxicated and had let it slip that he had a crush on Dean and had for many years. Okay, perhaps crush was a gross understatement seems he uttered those three dreaded words and proceeded to lay one of the most arousing kisses Dean had ever experienced right on him.

They didn’t talk for three months after that.

Dean wasn’t angry at Cas, not really. It wasn’t like this was news to him. He had always suspected his best friend carried a torch for him and selfishly, he did enjoy the attention Cas bestowed upon him as a result of that affection. He wasn’t angry that Cas was gay. He was angry because he was terrified. He had always been a man’s man. The ladies loved him. He loved cars and rock music and was a police officer. He had never even thought about another guy like that and yet the kiss Cas laid on him made him harder than anything he had ever experienced before. And it terrified him and because he sucked at emotions, he deflected those internal feelings at Cas.

There had been countless attempts on Cas’s part to make amends. So many apologies that Dean lost count. So many of their friends telling Dean to grow up and talk to his best friend already. Even his dad told Dean he was acting ridiculous, but he couldn’t come around. He avoided him and ignored him and took more women into his bed in those months than he ever had before. He couldn’t talk about their feelings. He couldn’t sit there while Cas poured his heart out and took away the comfort and security Dean had always had in Cas. Cas would need time to move on if Dean rejected him and maybe even space. It could be months or years before Cas could forgive him and they could be friends again and Dean couldn’t stand the thought of that rejection. So he avoided it.

Then Cas’s psychotic cold-hearted bitch mother died of a heart attack. It was unexpected and completely took their family by surprise. Dean had initially laughed when he heard, earning himself a hard smack across the back of his head from his mom, but who could blame him? He had always wondered if that she-beast had ever even had a heart! When the laughing subsided, Dead rushed to his best friend’s side. Cas had just graduated from law school and despite all the positives in his life, he knew Cas would be devastated knowing that he’d never have a chance to make amends with his mom. Dean may have hated her, but Cas was his best friend and he could be there for him like Cas had always been.

And he was.

No words were said about Cas’s drunken love confession and after Naomi was put into the ground (and Dean mentally danced on her grave), they picked up as if nothing had happened. Dean was avoiding the elephant in the room. He had become the master of avoiding his feelings and was grateful that Cas never forced the issue again. It was cruel of Dean to not tell Cas the truth, that he loved him back but didn’t quite understand _how_ when he had never looked at another dude that way, but it suited them and it kept things status quo.

Life moved on.

Sam married his college sweetheart, Sarah Blake, the gorgeous and way too good for him art dealer, in a lavish ceremony to which Dean stood as his best man and Cas had stood as a groomsman. It was a perfect night and Dean checked off another box on his bucket list when he took both bridesmaids back to his room.

Cas was promoted at his lawfirm to Partner and was reaping the benefits of that by getting himself a large, modern, and in Dean’s opinion, completely boring loft apartment in the city by his work.

Dean was promoted to Sergeant and though he hadn’t had another serious relationship after Lisa, he did have an impressive series of one night stands and failed relationships.

But life was good and most importantly, it was uncomplicated. For years!

Which is why the seemingly innocent text made Dean question just what the hell was going on.

* * *

<<Text Sent>> Game night at Charlie and Gilda’s, you in?

<<Text Received>> Sorry, Dean, I have other plans. Next time?

It was officially suspicious.

It had been five months since the first cancellation and now Dean felt as though he was beginning to see his best friend less and less. Of course Cas still made it to the Sunday brunch and they saw each other 2-3 times a week, but there was still a dramatic increase in random absences and when Cas was with him, he was different. Dean wasn’t the one who picked up on it of course, it had been his now pregnant sister-in-law who pointed out that Cas seemed to be awfully attached to his cell phone.

Dean scoffed immediately, citing Cas’s dedication to his job, but it left a nagging suspicion in the back of his mind. Cas had never really been technologically savvy, yet Dean too now noticed that Cas was often times sitting and staring at his phone. Sometimes with a stupid half smile that Dean missed seeing directed at him. Was it possible that something _was_ going on? And if so, why wasn’t Cas telling him? And more importantly, why was Dean hoping and praying that it really was nothing?

* * *

<<Text Received>> May I bring a guest to brunch this Sunday?

Dean was officially freaking the hell out.

A guest?! Like a co-worker? The homeless man on the street corner by the subway? A nun from his church? Exactly what did “guest” mean?

* * *

Dean was drunk.

Horribly and miserably drunk and for once, it wasn’t Cas at his side while he drank his pain away, it was Sam. Why? Because Cas was busy. Not just generally busy, but specifically busy. He was in his perfect, boring, overpriced modern loft apartment unpacking boxes and being blissfully happy with his gorgeous twink of a boyfriend, Samandriel. Wait, he wasn’t Cas’s boyfriend. That wasn’t the term Cas had used when he introduced the attractive blonde man at brunch. Partner. He was Cas’s partner. Like life partner. As in a serious fucking relationship.

Somehow, despite never really having had a serious relationship, his socially awkward best friend had not only met an equally successful Pediatrician, but he had dated said Pediatrician and gotten serious with him without Dean ever really knowing.

Dean wanted to be mad. He had a right to be, didn’t he? Cas had lied to him for months. Well, maybe no lied, but had definitely omitted information (and a big fuck you to lawyer Sam for pointing that out!) about something very serious.

He wasn’t though.

He wasn’t mad. At least not at Cas. Cas was approaching his mid-thirties and was a very attractive and successful man? He deserved to be happy and he was.

And it killed Dean.

Cas had been so stupidly happy introducing Samandriel to his “family.” He had smiled that wide gummy smile that made his wrinkles around his eyes stand out when Mary had hugged the blonde doctor. His gorgeous blue eyes had misted over when John had laughed and told Samandriel that he was lucky to have such an amazing man as his “son.” Everyone had loved Cas’s new man and what wasn’t there to love? He was attractive, kind, smart, successful, mature and above all, clearly so hopelessly in love with Cas. He looked at Cas like the man hung the fucking moon and what hurt Dean even more, was seeing that exact same expression on Cas’s face when he looked back.

Dean spent most of the brunch faking it. He laughed and joked. He was sarcastic and completely his normal self. He could hide the part that was freaking out because this was to be expected at some point right? Dean had had serious relationships before and they fizzled. Cas had had not so serious relationships before and those fizzled. In a matter of months things would go back to how they should be and maybe when they did, Dean could pull his head out of his ass long enough to admit to Cas that he had some serious non-brotherly love for him. He could get over that doubt and could actually be fucking happy with Cas.

Except he wouldn’t now.

Any hope was shattered by an off-handed statement made by the blue-eyed man.

“I love him so much, Dean. Samandriel is it for me. He’s the one.”

Dean smiled and pat his friend on the back, telling him that it was great and making jokes about how he better be the best man. The knife drove even further into his heart when Cas looked at him with a soft smile and eyes full of warmth and said he would of course be his best man.

There had been an awkward pause afterwards in which the two friends shared a moment. Sitting on the Winchester porch with the sounds of their friends and family chattering away in the background and both men just staring at the other intensely. Dean desperately searched for something, anything, some small flicker or sign in blue eyes he realized he loved more than anything. Just something to give him any indication that Cas still loved him as more than a friend.

There was nothing. No heat. No passion. Nothing more than a warm loving reflection that Cas had when he looked at any of his family.

And Dean knew.

While he buried and repressed his feelings that he didn’t or couldn’t accept in the body of various women, Cas had somehow gotten over his rejection from Dean and had moved on. Dean wanted to grab him and kiss him and tell him he loved him like all those insanely unrealistic romantic comedies he secretly loved and ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after, but life wasn’t a movie. It was real and it was ugly and he was staring at the undeniable proof that he took too long.

* * *

Samandriel was a great man, Dean reluctantly discovered. There was no dark background or hidden secret he was keeping. He was a genuine good guy and worthy of the man Dean so desperately loved. And he told him so, obviously not including the part where Dean had finally realized and accepted his big gay love for Cas, as he lifted his glass and faked his way through the most difficult thing he had ever experienced in his life.

It hurt.

It hurt worse than losing Cassie or Lisa or even that time he was shot in the arm. Dean had never felt a pain so deep and crippling as this and he doubt he ever would again. After all, what could possibly be worse than watching the love of your life marry the love of theirs?


	2. Castiel POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarity as seen through Castiel's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the urge to write Cas’s POV. So here you go. Before anyone jumps down my throat, I’m not Dean bashing by any means. I’m just trying to show that the situation is vastly different from a different perspective. Sometimes we as people don’t realize how we’re treating someone until after it’s pointed out and sometimes we also view situations as drastically worse than they really are because our emotions do play a role. Again, not Dean bashing. Just showing there are 2 sides to every story.
> 
> Not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

Castiel hated feeling guilty, especially when there really wasn’t anything to feel guilty about. It wasn’t as though he was lying to Dean or neglecting his best friend. He still made every effort to be involved in his life and act properly interested while Dean regaled him with the explicit details of his latest fling despite Dean knowing that Castiel was in fact gay and had no interest in how the female body responded to certain stimulus. 

He just didn’t want to share this with Dean. Not quite yet. 

Though they had been friends for the vast majority of their lives, it had not been without it’s own set of issues. The largest of course being Castiel’s very unrequited love for his best friend. 

He hadn’t meant to fall in love with Dean all those years ago, but in hindsight, it was inevitable. Dean was the most charismatic person he had ever had the privilege to meet and was so much more than he ever gave himself credit for. Dean was hardly a modest person when it came to acknowledging his good looks, but that’s where Dean stopped complimenting himself. He never acknowledged his fierce loyalty or his intelligence or his natural skill with talking to people. Dean was so much more than just a “pretty face” as he called himself; he was truly a magnificent human being so it was inevitable that Castiel would be lead to that like a moth to a flame. Dean’s heart and soul burned so bright that it was near impossible to turn away from it. 

He could never quite pinpoint when it started really. 

Had it been when Dean shared with cookies with Castiel in their Kindergarten class after his own were stolen? 

Had it been when Dean defended him against the ignorant football players in the halls of their High School? 

Had it been when Dean ditched his latest flavor at the frat party, ending their explicit make out session on the dance floor early in favor of rescuing his socially awkward best friend? 

There was no true moment that stood out to Castiel as being _the moment_ that he fell in love. Sure, there had always been some level of jealousy and hurt that surrounded Dean’s promiscuity in their youth. It seemed as though as soon as Dean discovered the joys of sexual pleasure, it was the only thing that he cared about. However, Castiel always attributed that jealousy to the fact that these unremarkable in every way ladies were able to hold Dean’s attentions and pull Dean way from things that actually mattered. 

Castiel did, however, know the exact moment he realized he was in love with Dean. It was when Dean introduced Castiel to Cassie Robinson. 

The meeting itself was nothing extraordinary. They were getting together for a pizza and study session and Dean had mentioned offhandedly that he was going to have his girlfriend there. 

That was clue one. Dean never referred to any of the various flings he had as “girlfriend.” 

Then there was the staring. Dean watched Cassie’s every move as though she were something so special. His green eyes were soft and radiated a warmth and happiness Castiel could never have recalled seeing before. And what was worse, was that Cassie was a genuinely kind and good natured person. She was exactly the type of person Dean needed too. She took none of his crap and was quick to call him out on his behaviors. 

Finally there was the admission, after Cassie had left, that Dean had been seeing her for six months and hadn’t told Castiel because he didn’t want to “jinx it.” Dean, the most overcompensating man alive, had kept this woman a secret. There had been no bragging or details and even after Dean had told Castiel with that attractive blush dusting his cheeks, he still hadn’t given Castiel anything more. To add insult to injury, he asked Castiel for any ideas on what to get Cassie for their upcoming 6 month anniversary.  

“Come on, Cas, you’re gay! You gotta have a better idea than me, man!” 

Castiel could not even form words so instead he dumbly shook his head and ended their evening early, using his demanding honors courses as his excuse. That night, he cried himself to sleep. Dean never kept a girl around longer than a week or two. His personal best before her had been 3 weeks! Cassie was different in so many ways and that terrified Castiel because it was obviously more serious than just a fling for Dean. And it hurt. It hurt so badly that when Castiel would finally realize his own feelings for Dean, the man had found someone worthy enough that he would shed his womanizer ways in favor of a relationship. 

Things changed between them too. 

Castiel found himself spending more evenings alone, studying and looking at his phone compulsively in hopes that Dean would call. Dean cancelled on Castiel more than he actually saw his friend and it hurt. Castiel tried to date, each relationship ending in miserable failure because he was an absolute mess with interpersonal skills. There had been guys that Dean had never even known about because the relationship began and ended before Castiel had even seen his best friend and when he did see Dean, it was a non-stop stampede across his heart. 

Dean didn’t ask Castiel about what was going on in his life or about his classes. He spent what little time they had with a faraway look in his eyes and a dopey smile that told Castiel that despite Dean physically being there, mentally he was not. He spent hours listening to Dean talk about how wonderful Cassie was or how hilarious she was during an argument or how passionate she was. Castiel must have been a master of deception because Dean never once picked up just how much it hurt or how much his best friend loved him. 

6 months after they graduated undergrad, Castiel was studying for one of his classes when Dean called him drunk and crying. As always, Castiel dropped everything to rush to his friend’s side and he actually hated himself for the relief he felt when Dean told him Cassie left. Unable to handle the dangers of his career, Cassie had told Dean he had to choose, her or the job. 

Cassie may have been a good woman, but Castiel hated her at that moment for hurting Dean. For not supporting his dreams and for walking away. She was ungrateful of the gift she had been given with Dean and Castiel could not even begin to comprehend how she could just throw that away as if it was nothing. As if Dean was nothing. 

“You’re amazing, Cas.” 

The words were slurred from alcohol and Castiel would later question if Dean even understood what he was saying as he helped him into his bed, but he could not deny the flare of hope that burned in his chest. He would keep his feelings to himself during Dean’s initial heartbreak, but when Dean was over Cassie, Castiel would finally work up the courage to tell Dean how he felt and he hoped and prayed that Dean would return those feelings. 

He didn’t get the chance though. After Cassie, Dean jumped back into his promiscuous ways and in what felt like a blink, had meet Lisa. 

“She’s perfect! Like, I don’t know, Cas, it could be something real, you know?”

It hadn’t been though.

Like Cassie, Dean withdrew from Castiel to focus on Lisa and in the end, she threw away the gift she had been given, ungrateful for the blessing she had received and Dean was left broken hearted. Castiel fulfilled his roll once again. He dropped everything to be at Dean’s side and nurse him through another heartbreak while studiously ignoring that Dean had spent over a year damn near ignoring him in favor of Lisa. The only times they saw each other were during Sunday brunch, but Lisa also attended those and Dean was nothing if not doting on her so Castiel only got short conversations. He didn’t care though. There was something profound with Dean. Something that drew him back to Castiel that was as intense as what drew Castiel to Dean. He had been patient and could continue to be so during this as well.

Like before, Dean wallowed in pity and self-loathing for a few weeks, drowning his sorrows in alcohol before he did an abrupt 180 and became the outlandish personality he usually was when overcompensating. Week after week a new woman warmed his bed. Week after week Castiel got details. It had been years now that Castiel had been in love with Dean and he would be damned if he was going to wait longer.

It hadn’t been quite a year after Lisa that Castiel made his move. Empowered with liquid courage, Castiel told Dean he loved him. Dean laughed and told him he loved him too and Castiel should have nodded and let Dean believe he was referring to a brotherly sort of bond, but he couldn’t do it. Not again. He couldn’t let another opportunity to pass him by. He could not quite recall the exact words he used. Something along the lines of profound bond, loving him in a carnal sort of way and the overwhelming draw that kept pulling two friends back together. Dean’s face had been blank. His green eyes were wide and his jaw was slightly agape and he said nothing after Castiel had poured his heart out. Perhaps he hadn’t understood. Dean was always a more direct type of person so Castiel kissed him. Not a simple peck on the lips either and it had been fireworks. When Dean’s mouth responded Castiel felt like everything, all the past misery and lonely nights had been completely worth it because they lead up to this.

Though as quickly as it started, it was over. Dean had pushed Castiel back harshly with a gasp and began yelling that he wasn’t gay and didn’t “get with” dudes.

They didn’t talk for months.

Castiel called and left messages though they were never returned.

He had apologized to Dean over 100 times.

Their friends were forced to divide their time between them and all because Castiel had been an idiot. As he had so many times before, he had read the situation entirely wrong and now lost the one person who mattered most to him and he hated himself for it. He allowed his own selfish desires to ruin a friendship that had gone on for over 20 years.

Naomi’s passing had been a blessing, if for no other reason than it brought Dean back into his life. Castiel of course struggled with his conflicting emotions when his father, Chuck, called to tell him his mother had passed. His heart ached for the lost opportunity to make things right with his mother and he grieved that he would never have the chance to prove to his mother he could still be the amazing son she always thought he was despite his “affliction.”

The day after Naomi passed, Dean knocked at his door and without hesitation welcomed his sobbing friend back into his arms.

Neither Dean nor Castiel made any mention to Castiel’s drunken love confession and after Naomi was laid to rest, they picked up as if nothing had happened. Castiel hated it. He hated acting as though everything was all well and good, but he kept his mouth shut because he couldn’t lose Dean. Not again. If he could only have Dean in his life as a friend, then he would learn to live with that.

Life moved on.

Castiel began attending Sunday brunch again and laughing off Dean’s details of his latest conquest. He was inserted back into the “family” as though he hadn’t been gone and when Sam had proposed to his college sweetheart, Sarah, Castiel had been rendered speechless when Sam asked him to be a groomsman.

Dean received a promotion to Sergeant and though he hadn’t had another serious relationship after Cassie and Lisa, he did have an impressive series of one night stands and failed relationships. Castiel was grateful that as time drew on, each stung less than the previous one.

Things in Castiel’s life improved greatly as well, even beyond anything he could imagine. He received a promotion to Partner at his firm and then purchased a large, modern, clean loft apartment in the city by his office. He had friends and family who loved and supported him and when he wasn’t expecting it, the most amazing thing happened. He met Samandriel Alford.

It was happenstance that drew Samandriel into Castiel’s world. Castiel was having a quiet lunch inside his favorite bistro a block from his office when he heard a man clear his throat. When he looked up, he was pinned in place by a friendly smile and wide blue eyes.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, it’s just, the place is rather full and I noticed you had an extra seat. Would you mind terribly if I sat down?”

Castiel had accepted and turned back to reading the brief he had to finalize that afternoon, but surprisingly found his focus easily pulled away by the blonde man.

Samandriel was a very intelligent and articulate man, Castiel discovered right away. He was a pediatrician at the local hospital, loved the theater and museums and, much like Castiel himself, found it preferable to spend his time reading classic literature as opposed to keeping up with the latest in pop culture.

For the first time since Castiel could remember, he found himself reluctant to end his lunch and return to his office, enjoying the conversation he was having much more. He wanted to ask Samandriel if he wished to do it again sometime, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Thankfully, he didn’t have to. With a beautiful blush on his pale cheeks, Samandriel wrote his phone number down on his napkin and slid it over to Castiel, saying it was his favorite bistro and if Castiel ever wanted company again, he could text or call. 

Castiel didn’t of course. He looked at the number a thousand times and had it programed into his phone almost immediately upon returning to his office, but struggled with what to say. Was Samandriel just being nice? Was he perhaps interested in something more? Castiel was surprised when he had a small inkling of hope that it was the latter. 

A week passed and the moment he realized it had been too long to casually suggest meeting for lunch, he ran into the blonde doctor again. At the very same table, at the very same bistro. Samandriel was reading when Castiel entered and like a scene from one of the ridiculous romantic comedies that Dean swore he hated, but secretly loved, Samandriel looked up and smiled widely as he saw Castiel. 

Once again they dined together and shared enjoyable conversation and when the time came that Castiel had to return to work, Samandriel shocked Castiel by asking the lawyer if he wanted to get dinner sometime. 

“And yes, by dinner I do mean a date.” 

When Castiel accepted with an embarrassing blush, Samandriel smiled widely and asked for Castiel’s number so they could arrange a time and place. 

Their first date had been the following Saturday. Castiel had been nervous and had been tempted to call Dean to ask for wardrobe advice, though found he couldn’t, but more so, he didn’t want to. He didn’t need any of Dean’s light-hearted teasing to make him any more nervous than he already was so he simply wore a suit he would wear to work. Samandriel had seen him in a suit twice and hadn’t found him lacking, or so he assumed since the doctor asked him out.

The date was better than Castiel could have hoped. The restaurant was nice without being overwhelming or pretentious and conversation flowed smoothly, despite Castiel’s natural social awkwardness. Instead of teasing or pointing out his blunders, Samandriel would smile and bite his bottom lip in a way that made Castiel want to tug it into his own mouth. And when the date was over, before Castiel could flounder with how to end it, the blonde man leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Castiel’s. 

What surprised Castiel even more than the kiss was that Samandriel texted him the next day that he had had a good time. And texted him the day after that. And invited him to lunch the day after that. 

In a blink, three months had passed and Samandriel was now officially Castiel’s “boyfriend.” They had weekly dates, routine lunches and this, on their three month anniversary, Samandriel asked Castiel to come over to his place to have dinner and to stay. Castiel had accepted, eager to take their relationship to the next level, without realizing it was also his weekly pizza and movie night with Dean.

<<Text Sent>> Have to cancel tonight. Apologies, Dean. 

He felt some level of guilt, which was insane seems Dean cancelled on him constantly when he was in a relationship, but Castiel had always thought himself better than that. If you make plans, you keep plans and this would be the fourth cancellation he had done in the past three months. He knew he should still be a loyal best friend, but a part of him, a really big part, didn’t want to go. He had finally found someone who laughed at his stupid jokes, enjoyed doing “boring” stuff with him and now wanted to take that one step further and perhaps it was selfish, but Castiel wanted that too. 

Before he could overanalyze the situation and make things worse, he knocked on Samandriel’s door and as he was pulled into a toe curling kiss, he knew he had made the right choice. Selfish or not.

* * *

<<Text Received>> Game night at Charlie and Gilda’s, you in? 

<<Text Sent>> Sorry, Dean, I have other plans. Next time? 

Castiel barely gave another thought to the phone, instead rolling over to resume the exquisite torture he was performing on his boyfriend of just over 5 months. It had been a surprise to Castiel that his own sexual desires ran more towards the kinky side and a blessing that apparently so did Samandriel’s. The blonde doctor was more than eager to be tied to the bed so Castiel could torture him with gentle touches that turned into stinging slaps then soothed by lewd kisses and edged so long that when he finally reached his climax, he often passed out being overwhelmed with pleasure. On a normal night Castiel would have possibly considered cancelling on Samandriel to join his friends, but not tonight, not the night that Samandriel told him he loved him for the first time.

* * *

<<Text Sent>> May I bring a guest to brunch this Sunday? 

Castiel was nervous. Something that was most definitely absurd considering this would not be the first guest taken to the family brunch, but it was the first time Castiel was bringing someone. Not only that, he was bringing someone very special. 

Samandriel had been inhumanly patient with Castiel and the lawyer’s desire to keep their relationship more private. The blonde doctor never got offended when Castiel had to decline an invitation due to a previous engagement with Dean and his friends. In fact, on nights that Samandriel was at work later, he was the one who suggested to Castiel that he call Dean and hang out with his best friend. It was that patience and trust that made it so easy on Castiel to ask Samandriel to move in when the blonde mentioned his lease ending on his apartment. The moment the words were out of his mouth he felt his stomach drop and wished he could turn back time to shove them right back in seems they had only been together for less than a year, but Samandriel didn’t run for the hills or tell Castiel he was crazy. He had blushed most deliciously and looked almost bashful as he asked Castiel if he was sure. When the dark-haired man nodded, he didn’t have to wait long for a response as Samandriel threw himself at Castiel and kissed him passionately before accepting.

Moving in together was exciting, but also a serious step, one that both Castiel and Samandriel took very seriously so when the blonde casually mentioned perhaps introducing each other to their families, he knew he couldn’t avoid it any further and he actually didn’t want to. Though things may seem as though they were moving very fast between the two men, they were both so happy and Castiel wanted to share that with his family. He wanted to share that with Dean. He loved Samandriel and could honestly see a future with him so this was the most logical next step. Even if it made him extremely nervous.

* * *

Castiel was elated. 

He had never imagined his life could be as incredible as it was at the present moment, covered in dust and surrounded by what felt like an endless amount of packed boxes. Samandriel was talking a million miles an hour, something he only did when very excited, and flitting about _their_ apartment putting his belongings in their new place. The only times the blonde seemed to stand still for longer than 30 seconds were the times where he moved past Castiel close enough that the lawyer could pull him in for a time stopping kiss. It had delayed their unpacking, especially when the kisses turned heated and Castiel found his lithe partner tearing at his clothes as though they personally offended him, though neither seemed to mind the delay. 

Partner. 

Castiel wanted to crawl into a hole the moment the title slipped out at brunch the week prior. They had only been in the house less than a minute when Mary approached them with her calming wide smile and asked Castiel who the handsome man was. Castiel had thought about Samandriel in terms of permanence more than once and though they were moving in together, they hadn’t spoken about marriage or lifelong plans. So when Castiel introduced Samandriel as his partner, he fully expected the blonde to correct him, but Samandriel didn’t. He merely squeezed Castiel’s hand in support and gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. His blue eyes were as open and expressive as they always were and Castiel saw the truth, the doctor was happy to have been referred to as that. He was happy that they were on the same page. 

The brunch went even better than he could have believed. His friends were very welcoming of Samandriel as were the people he considered his family. Mary had hugged him so tight and John had moved Castiel to near tears when he had told Samandriel that he was lucky to have such an amazing man as his “son.” Castiel absentmindedly wondered if that had been some sort of test when Samandriel immediately agreed and John looked to him with a wide smile and a slight nod. Approval. Acceptance. Something he had not realized he desperately needed until he received it. 

Brunch had been as lighthearted as it always was. Playful teasing went on as expected and Samandriel slipped right in with ease that Castiel never had in a new group. Sarah had especially loved Castiel’s partner, sitting him down and beginning a lengthy discussion about different theories and practices. Castiel couldn’t help, but smile at how easily Samandriel fit in. 

The brunch also marked a turning point in Castiel’s mindset about his relationship with Samandriel. Sitting on the porch with Dean, Castiel found himself not feeling that keen ache in his chest or the burning jealousy in his throat when Dean joked about his latest fling. He felt, for the first time in a very long time, like his love for Dean was no longer the main focus in his life. Samandriel had taken up that spot and it was a relief to Castiel. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to not have lost Dean’s friendship and to also now have a man he was convinced he was always destined to be with.

“I love him so much, Dean. Samandriel is it for me. He’s the one.” 

Telling Dean that had been such a relief because it had been true. He knew at that moment that Samandriel was forever. Dean had been supportive and even went so far as to joke that he should be Castiel’s best man when they got married. Once upon a time hearing that would have shattered Castiel’s heart, but not now. There was no lie needed when the blue-eyed man smiled and assured Dean that of course he would. Dean, afterall, was his best friend. He couldn’t imagine anyone being at his side when he made that commitment.

* * *

It was, without a doubt, the most perfect day in Castiel’s life. Years ago when he imagined this moment, he had always pictured Dean standing before him, them making a lifelong commitment to each other, but now he realized this is how it was always meant to be. Everything had been perfect. The ceremony went off without a hitch, Castiel only let slip a few tears and as he sat next to his husband, smiling at his best friend Castiel knew that despite the sometimes incredibly painful path he was forced to take to get to this moment, he could never regret any of it. Not when it was the path that lead to this moment. 

After all, what could possibly be better than marrying the love of your life?


End file.
